Recovering from illness can feel like the struggle of Sisyphus, endlessly pushing a boulder uphill, only for it to roll back down with each setback. Just as Sisyphus repeated his task, it feels like Cindy is caught in this same journey, making it feel exhausting. Get up on schedule, take medicine, rest, walk — hurt. She got up with a new deep pain in her left leg that she just can’t seem to find relief from, it is very disheartening.

She does not want to take more pain medicine, but that is the plan and we are trusting the plan. Cindy keeps asking if she has done something during the recovery to create the new pain or is it some result of the surgery? Is it temporary or lasting? Did she trade one pain for another?

We called the Dr. but have not heard anything which just makes us feel isolated and alone.

Our community has been great, food, flowers friendly calls and visits, but Cindy does not feel like talking. So we are waiting and praying for the time to pass and for her body to knit back together and for the weight to be less so she can get it to the top of the hill and push it down the other side.

We went outside to walk and the sky was so grey and moody. It looked like we felt. The clouds twisted around blocking out the sun each time it tried to penetrate the veil. We know that the blue skies are there, but are cut off from them. We know the truths: God loves us, God is the great physician, this is going to take time. It’s just that sitting at the bottom of the valley knowing that the only way out is uphill in any direction is exhausting.

Albert Camus pondered the story of Sisyphus. Instead of seeing a hopeless struggle and absurd repetitive and fruitless journey, he suggested instead, that there is meaning in perseverance—each effort to rise again is an act of defiance and hope, proving that even in struggle, there is resilience. Cindy is a fighter and one of the strongest people I know. She is going to keep struggling. It is an honor to get to be so close to someone who is fighting so hard.

Our prayer requests are twofold.

One, may the new pain disappear and the old pains grow dim.

Two, may her appetite reappear. All food is bland and a challenge to get passed the gaurdian of hunger toward her stomach. May tastes delight her and fill her with the love by which they are so carefully prepared.

Grey Skies

Misty Morning

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